Missing Moments
by livesinjournals
Summary: Currently a one shot of what I think could be a missing moment between Spencer Reid and Ashley Seaver in today I do, tomorrow I will. May turn into a series of one shots I hope you like it! Criminal Minds and there characters are sadly not mine!
1. When she walked through the door

**I am sorry I have not updated this yet! So sorry! The problem with working directly from the show (disclaimer I do not own criminal minds) is that you have to have time to sit down and watch and episode and then write about it, which takes a lot of time which I don't currently have. However, I was struck with a light bulb moment and realised some lovely fellow Reaver fans have made YouTube videos of their moments which I can intercept and work from for the time being. I would also like to say that this is now chapter 1; I decided it would be better for me to work in a chronological order when I am writing. As for anymore excuse's it is all the same, too much school work, a new job and the thing that takes me the longest – working out what to wear to school! This is my first year without a uniform and boy does it take some planning! Without further ado…**

He was still morning JJ and her transfer to another team. Simple enough the team didn't feel right without her. She kept a calm order to the hectic job and he felt so confused and frankly lost without her. The new girl wasn't a replacement JJ, not at all. She was someone new, someone interesting and someone he was ashamed to admit that he found pretty.

The moment he had walked over to the team introducing her he knew she was important. The next best scores through the academy since him, now that was impressive. She might be a match for his intelligence in a few years. After all she was still starting out she could make mistakes. Her attitude was reserved and yet her personality screamed she was friendly. Her outfit was perfect and trendy yet her eyes had a manic look to them, first day nervous he presumed. She was a massive juxtaposition and he was captivated by it.

Their meeting was quickly rushed off on to the plane and on their way to the crime scene before he got the chance to talk to her one on one.

"Hi, Ashley."

"Hi, Dr Reid. Is everything ok?"

"I just wanted to know your coffee preference?"

"My coffee preference?"

"I am on a mission to find someone who likes sugar in there tea. It's 45% of America who like tea and yet I am always the one who gets picked on for liking it."

"I hate to disappoint but my coffee had to be at least 60% milk and no sugar."

"I will warn you know the team tends to tease other members who drink anything less than black. Unless you are Garcia who drinks a Skinny Mocha Ice Latte with a shot of ginger and not sugar."

"Oh, wow. Remind me never to offer to get her coffee."

"Leave it to Morgan, I may have an eidetic memory but when it comes down to Garcia's drink he has it nailed."

"I am yet to meet Garcia, is she nice?"

"The best way to describe Garcia is a fairy queen gone spy."

"That would of made the coolest kids story."

"I know, that being said I was only read 19th century literature growing up so I can't say I read many fairy princess books anyway."

"Wow that is an intense read for a kid."

Reid could feel himself slipping into the mum territory and the last thing he wanted was any sympathy from Ashley. For once he wanted her to see purely him, no drug addict or dad's that left or his mum. Just him. Ashley had seemed to notice a change in the conversation too as she quickly moved on to asking for tips about the case. The one thing Spencer said – don't get yourself held hostage.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxShe had blown it she knew it. It was stupid, so stupid that she had entered the unsub house and got herself held hostage. If only for a little bit of time she had still put herself and everyone at risk. She would definitely get forgotten and sent back to the academy now. She had just wanted to make an impression and get brought in for more cases. Leaning her head back against the window in the jet she hugged her knees closer. Everyone around her had their eyes closed and after the day she had she should have them closed to but she just couldn't sleep. Not when she felt so low. It was then she was aware of Dr Reid standing by the set of chairs. In a whisper he began to talk.

"Can I sit here?"

"Sure, it would be nice to have some company."

Spencer slid into the chair next to her.

"Are you not mad at me?"

"No. I have done it myself. We all just want the best for the victim's family, it is a massive rarity that they will then turn round and try and kill you. You should take it in your stride there is a high chance it won't happen again and you now know the does and don'ts."

"Thanks, I needed to hear that. Something less career ending."

"It happens to the best of us. You now also have a fantastic story to use in class."

Ashley couldn't help but laugh. It was true her class mates would be jealous and this story was just the icing on the cake.

"It will serve them right for basically blanking me for the whole training."

"They ignored you?"

"Someone let it leak that my dead was a murder and for some reason that drives people away. I have spent pretty much every day on my own studying with a microwave meal on my lap. It is how I got so good; I didn't have many parties to go to, friends to see and boys to pursue."

"I don't see why people let it get in the way, for a start it is pretty fascinating. On top of you being a great person and pretty I think it was there loss."

"Thanks, you really know the right things to day."

"I was bullied for a long time. I know what it is like to have no one. That is why I love this team so much. I am really not alone with them and neither will you be. You were still great help today. My bet is you will be asked to come back. If no one else does then I will."

Spencer smiled at Ashley who returned the smile. On a spur of the moment she reached out her fluffy socked foot and pocked Spencer's leg.

"I really mean it thank you. We should probably get some sleep or that paper work tomorrow is going to be very mean."

"I agree, good night Agent Seaver."

"Night Dr Reid."


	2. Carrots and Hot Sauce

**So long-live-HP-PJ-HG has inspired me to write some more Reaver and let's face it if you are an Ashely/ Spencer shipper we do not have enough! So common lets spread the community! They are too cute to keep hidden! This is a one shot set during 'today I do tomorrow I will'. When I re-watched this episode I thought the fact Ashley new a lot would make a great little story. I had never gotten around to writing it. This may turn into a bunch of missing moments, who knows! **

The pink diary Ashley held in her hand was all too familiar. The organized lines detailing every aspect of the days eating and exercise habits. The faint tear stains, barely noticeable, she knew the feeling. The guilt, the pain and the desperation. It was the worse period of her life when she had been in the same boat as there victim. It had given her control in a world which she had so little in; her father had made sure of that. She had tried anything to gain some control from the extreme's in her mental health to finding a job and studying to the maximum she could. This had been her worse grasp for control by far and had there for become the most practised- the most painful.

It was just another connection she shared with a victim; in his own sick way her father had managed to turn her into a victim. Her comments to the case were an instant to regret, the look in Emily's eyes and the change of Garcia's tone proved that. It wasn't helpful information she was sharing- it was personal and a mistake. They didn't need to know about that side of her life. She didn't need more pity and she had the feeling she was going to be receiving it. Stupid Carrots and Hot sauce again the burden of her life.

She hadn't had much time while on the case to think of this past but as she stood in the evidence locker doing the trainee job of choosing which evidence to return she couldn't stop looking at the diary. It was a ghost of so many pasts. She could her body shake as she turned each page. The familiarity causing her senses to tighten, remembering the smell of her sick, the burning feeling of her mouth, the ache which ripped her heart and stomach apart. It was all too real, she hadn't notice the loud sobs which tumbled from her. Instead she noticed the hardest feeling, the urge to relapse and the guilt from the tuna fish sandwich she had at lunch.

The door gave a soft thud and Ashley turned begging it was just a gust of the wind rather than a team member. No such luck there stood a bewildered Reid, a cup of coffee in each hand. Obviously coming to relieve Ashley and head off with the team. He stood there unmoving just staring at Ashley's red eyes which slowly drifted down to the diary in her hand.

"Ash?"

It was the first time he had ever used a nickname or even called her anything besides Seaver. She should have loved it, in fact she did. However, all it showed was his pity. Softening her name as though he was talking to a child.

When Ashley didn't reply he tried again, this time moving forward to slide the coffee down on a table.

"Ashley, talk to me?"

"Sorry Spencer, you shouldn't have had to see me like this. I am just being stupid and immature again."

"Hey, if you are upset then it isn't something stupid."

In response Ashley slide down to the floor tucking her knees up to her chest. Spencer sat down next to her in an odd closeness. She waited a minute and when he didn't speak again she slid the diary towards him. He picked it up delicately and flicked through it.

"That used to be me Spencer."

"Ashley you really do have your demons don't you."

Ashley nodded and stared down at her lap. Great now he thinks she is a freak.

"Ashley please look at me."

She gingerly met his eyes."

"These Demons aren't a bad thing, they make us stronger. Look at the strong and intelligent women you are. The fact you got over a problem like this on top of everything you have gone through actually makes me even more impressed by you."

"I was so close to relapsing, instead of feeling proud of myself for being done with this I felt guilty. Like I had slipped and that I should being doing it again."

"It's a form of addiction; I know how you feel Ashely. You never completely get rid of these things. You don't have to keep doing things alone thought, you know that right? The team would do anything to support others. Me especially, I would drop anything if you needed me to."

He placed a hand on her knee and squeezed it slightly. This seemed to be a triggering action as Ashley flung her body onto Reid's and hugged him. Letting a few more tears fall into his mop of hair. He pulled his long arms around her back and pulled her in closer. After a few seconds she pulled herself backwards and sat directly facing Spencer.

"Why don't you mention the headaches to anyone then Spence?"

His hand shot up to rub the back of his neck. How did she know about the headaches? He was yet to tell anyone and he hadn't been planning to… at least not until they got an explanation.

"How did you?"

"I play attention to you, I think where the team know you so well they don't notice you the way I do. I see the pain which conflicts across your face and the way you rub your head."

She reached out to touch his head in the place she had seen him massaging only hours earlier.

"I was a little scared. I don't really know why I am getting them and it could be a sign of something going wrong."

"With that brain of yours Spencer, I think it is more you need a break. Like you said though, you don't have to face fear alone."

Spencer let out a low chuckle.

"What?"

"This is a bit of a turn of events."

"That is true, but how about you follow your own advice you hypocrite."

Spencer let out another chuckle and Ashley joined in.

"I will if you will then. Deal? If you are struggling you call me and vice versa. We will be support buddies."

"Deal."

Ashley stood up and shook the dirt of her trousers while Spencer desperately tried not to look at her long legs and what was attached to them. He had a very good angle from the floor but after their personal talk he felt to wrong for looking. He looked away just as Ashley turned to reach out a hand to pull him up. He clumsily moved his legs around till he was up.

"So which of these bits are we taking up?"

"Oh Damn, I got so caught up in the diary I forgot to do the rest."

Ashley pushed her hands through her hair and making a low sigh. She had one job and she was no wear near done, the team would be expecting her.

"With 4 pair of hands we will be done sorting through in no time."

"Are you sure? There is nothing you should be doing?"

"No I am all done till we get back to the office and can start on the paper work."

They set to work rummaging through the piles of clothes and personal items from the victims. The pair where silent as they worked rushing to get it done so the team could leave. They both reached for the same piece in at the same time as their hands collided both looked up with sudden haste. Instead of letting go off each other's hand they stayed there. Spencer felt the rush of energy shoot up his arm while Ashley felt butterflies flip in her stomach. This felt like the start of something new. All of a sudden Emily's voice filled the evidence locker.

"You guys done down here yet? I want to get on the plan and get home. I have a new cat to look after."

Ashely jumped back while Spencer stayed looking dazed.

"Sure Prentiss, I think we are done. Right Spence?"

Glancing over at Spencer he stayed frozen a bemused look on his face.

"Spence?"

"Huh? Oh yeah Prentiss. We are done."

He turned towards Ashely to pick up the box. Meeting her eyes she gave him a look questioning his odd behaviour. He shrugged his shoulders and leaned down to pick up the box. He headed up the stairs and Ashely followed, noticing to her surprise spencer had a blush trailing from his neck up on to his cheeks.

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Sat on the jet Spencer couldn't get the conversation with Ashley out of his head. She was full of so many surprises it shock and well scared him. Seeing the tears fall from her eyes, for not the first time caused him so much pain. He looked across to where she was sat an academy text book open in front of her. She was the only other one awake on the plane. So determined to do well in her exams. He wanted to go sit with her, help her out or quiz her. Instead he was glued to his seat; he could stop seeing the mimic of her in him. The parents, the fear of mental health, their age and their skill. He found someone who could understand him and even more oddly see right past the wall he built up around areas of his life and is able to care. The thing that mostly kept him sat where he was, he was falling in love. That scared him, he was no Morgan. He didn't know what to do. After a few minutes he didn't have to keep fighting with himself as he felt a slight dip in the seat next to him.

"Control."

He turned his head to face her before trying to make sense of her sudden outburst. He didn't need to ask what she was talking about as she quickly continued.

"I had no control, that's why I did what I did back then. It was a way I could gain some control in my life. What I realised when I stopped was there were other ways I could gain control. Pushing Me to the best of my ability was one way and this is another."

Spencer opened his mouth to reply and was shocked when he felt a soft pair of lips lightly touch his. He was quick to respond kissing her back. All too soon for his liking she pulled away.

"I am sorry Spencer, I didn't…I shouldn't off."

She got up to leave but was stopped by thin fingers wrapping around her wrist.

"You have no idea how badly I have wanted to kiss you Ashley."

He gave her what he hoped was a sincere look. She gave him a wide smile in return."

"Want some help with your studying?"

"Please, it is ridiculously boring to do on my own."

Spencer patted the chair beside him and Ashley sat down, grateful they were at the back of the jet and would not wake anyone up with there talking.

"So where were you?"

They stayed sat up long into the night running through the book. Their bodies getting gradually closer together. Soon enough Ashley fell asleep on Spencer shoulder. He knew they would have a beautiful friendship and from Ashley's earlier move maybe more. Her idea about control was a good point though, he could take control of his headaches and he could stop them. He just had to be brave enough to go to the doctors. With Ashley's support he knew he could do that. He knew he could get through this.

**I hope you liked this! Would you like to see more than one? Once again I would like to thank long-live-HP-PJ-HG for motivating me to get off Tumblr and actually write! If you have any suggestions review or PM me them and I will happily write them! I quite like the idea of a Facebook chat thing, which might be fun and different to play with? **


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